It is very difficult for children who have been sexually abused to put into words what has happened. They might feel scared, they might feel ashamed, or it is possible they might not recognise what has happened to them as abuse.
Having regular talks about relationships, sex and consent in an age-appropriate way with your child can help protect them from sexual abuse.
We’ve outlined some tips and resources below to help you build trust and have an ongoing conversation that can help keep your child safe from abuse.
Getting
Ready
Know why it’s important to talk.
Tips for
Talking
Know how to keep the conversation going.
Specific resources for children of different ages
Learn more about talking to children at different points in their life.
Getting Ready
Pick your moments
Try and avoid any dramatic ‘we need to talk’ statements. Think about a time when you’re both comfortable, and you can bring the subject up naturally, like watching TV or on a walk.
What to say
How you talk with your child will depend on their age, but it’s a good idea to ask about the area of their life you’re concerned about in a neutral way. You might say: “Tell me about...” or “What do you think about...”
Tips for Talking
Wait and listen
It’s important to try not to rush to a negative judgement of what your child is saying. Remember, you want your child to know they can tell you what is happening.
Agree on safety
Try to help your child see how ground rules you agree with them can help keep them safe - online and offline.
Keep it going
Make time to talk on an ongoing basis. As a rule, talk little and often.
Get support
If you are worried that your child may be being abused or you discover they are being abused, you can get confidential help and support by calling the NSPCC on 0808 800 5000.
Specific resources for children of different ages
Young teens
When a child starts secondary school, they can encounter risks such as sexting and grooming.
For more information on how to keep your teen safe from online sexual abuse, visit: https://talk.iwf.org.uk/
Older teenagers
#AskTheAwkward from National Crime Agency provides three short films to watch with your child, and top tips, conversation starters and information to help you talk with them about online relationships and sex.
Talking regularly with your child about relationships and sex can help develop shared understanding, trust and support between you.
Talk little. Talk often. Ask The Awkward. Visit: www.thinkuknow.co.uk/parents/ask-the-awkward
What you can do next
Spot the signs
Knowing the signs can help keep your child safe.
Further support
You don’t have to be certain to talk to a trained professional about a concern. Learn about the support on offer.